The Family & Friends Dilemma

There's a common question among all private practitioners about the practicality of representing your family or close friend in legal transactions.

The problem is two-fold: 1. Sometimes as an attorney (especially a new one), the only people that will hire you are your friends and family; and 2. The best referral sources for new clients are your friends and family.

There are some dicey waters when representing "kin," not the least of which is the issue of fees.

Most people are aware of the "family and friends discount." If you're not, it goes something like this:

Because we're (insert your relationship), that means that I'll get a "discount" (often interpreted as free) for the work you perform on my behalf.

I saw this happen to my father (a podiatrist) during each family vacation we took. Family members would expect him to perform complex or time consuming work, simply because he was "kin." I know that he didn't mind doing the small procedures, and I know he often invited family members back to his office to perform more complex work. The truth is, most professionals don't mind helping others because of relationships, the difficulty comes when you're also trying to make a living and protect your interests.

Therefore, I'd like to point you to a great article addressing some of the concerns and problems practitioners should consider before accepting the "family business." I think Mr. Baron's first suggestion about fees is especially important. I send a bill to my family/friends that reflects 3 things: my regular hourly/flat fee total, my discounted ("family & friends") fee, and the words, "Thank you for your business & our friendship."

I think we sometimes forget how important it is to thank our friend for their business. It's easy to forget that we're the ones choosing to reduce the fee, not the other way around.  My thought has always been, business in the door is always better than none-at-all.

Remember, most of the time your family member or friend is only looking for a "bargain," not free business. If you can provide that bargain, then you're going to get their business, if not, they'll finish the question and move on to another provider.

I'd like to know what you think about Mr. Baron's article and some of these issues. he addresses Do you add special "bargains" for family/friends/special clients, that most of the general populace pays for? For instance, I give my full estate planning package to my friends/family, and I also discount or "cap" my contingent fee on cases. Please comment.

On Dignity

I wrote a little post over at the firm's blog about the importance of dignity.Surprisingly, I guess because of our human nature, some of us find being charitable and dignified difficult.

One of the important things I've learned during the course of my education and career, is that treating people with dignity and respect will get you further than anything else. 

I believe that the reason lawyers have such a bad reputation is because we're known to lack a general decorum of dignity and respect. Heck, who could blame us anyway? The adversarial system begs for the degrading remarks and behavior.

Quite simply though, it's important to remember that everyone deserves dignity and respect. It's too easy I think because of media exploitations, to discard people because of their troubles, behavior, or problems.

Everyday attorneys meet and deal with troubled and/or problematic people. Sometimes, despite their most ambitious attempts, these people cannot get out of their dreadful situations. It's not for us to judge their behaviors, rather, as counselors, we should strive to find ways to help.

By treating clients and colleagues with respect and dignity, attorneys could improve people's general perceptions, and do good. Attorneys have numerous opportunities to give charity. It's easy to forget that people are people, and not some inanimate object or other creature. They too had dreams, aspirations, and goals, which too quickly and too easily got consumed with life.

Keep your promises

My friend, Eric Urbach, has a great post at his website titled, "You Have a Great Case!" His article discusses one of the biggest traps you'll face as a young attorney: The inclination to tell the client what they want to hear. Eric notes that these fateful words can be misleading, especially when you consider the complexity of many cases.

I'll affirm Eric's warnings, and note one other thing: never feel sorry for a client. I don't want to sound harsh, you should feel sorry so you can advocate, but never get so emotionally involved with a client or the client's case that you lose perspective. I had a client who fired me, then asked that I return back as the attorney. I took the client back because I felt sorry for the position the client was in. What I didn't realize was that by breaking my cardinal rule, I essentially enabled or encouraged the client to "walk all over me." This mistake didn't affect the outcome of the case (the client fired me a 2nd time), but it certainly affected our relationship.